continued from last entryI gathered up my drunken friends quickly and shepherded them out to my waiting SUV. They cackled and bickered amongst themselves, mad at me for making them leave, the one unable to stop crying, now blaming me for her tears. I said as little as possible, my mind still caught in the spell that was my unusual encounter with the man at the bar. Bill. His name was Bill. Such a friendly sounding name but I sensed that Bill was not a harmless lumberjack hunting guy that he appeared to be.
As I dropped each friend off at their homes, the thought of going back to the bar never even entered my mind. As the last drunken girl safely entered her home and blinked her porch light, signalling that no one had killed her and she was safe, I turned my car around, opposite the direction of my home, still never intending to go to the bar.
I pulled into the parking lot and sat in my car with the motor running. This was ludicrous. I looked at my clock on the dash: 12:01 A.M. I should go home to bed. I had to get up early the next day and go Christmas shopping with my old college roommate. It was a yearly tradition. She would be arriving at my house in 8 hours. I should be home in bed, visions of sales and expensive gifts in my head. Not sitting in a frozen parking lot with my car running.
I looked at the remaining cars. He had probably left already. Audi, VW, Volvo, BMW, Audi, Mercedes, Lexus Sports Utility, BMW, Saab... all lined up in a row, belonging to the snobby yups who were no doubt blitzed out of their minds on expensive vodkas and microbrews inside.... then I spotted a single truck. Jet black, shiny, large tires, stood at least seven feet in the air, extended cab, extended bed, well taken care of and expensive, but obviously a working utilitarian vehicle.
Was this his? Was he still inside?
I bundled up, wrapping my white cashmere scarf tight against my throat, wrapping my leather jacket around me like a shield, and walked inside the bar.
He spotted me immediately. He did not rise, just watched me as I made my way over to him. Once I was at the table, he smiled at me, rose from his table, and said "Did you come back to me?"
I said nothing, just put my purse on the table and looked at him. He gently removed my jacket, taking care to not lose the scarf, and placed it on the back of the empty chair. Then he motioned for me to sit.
"I was hoping you would. You intrigue me." He said, sitting back down.
"It's early yet." I said, not wanting to appear easy, desparate, slutty.
"Another soda? Diet Coke was it?" He said, pulling out his wallet.
"Oh, yes, please." I said, opening my purse to retrieve some money.
He put his hand over mine. "Not necessary. It would be my honor."
I watched as he walked up to the bar, waited patiently for the bartender. It was my first chance to really look at him, when he wasn't watching. He had broad shoulders, solid arms. His Levis were worn in, conforming nicely to his lower body, defining a not unpleasant ass. On his feet, a pair of rather expensive leather workboots, the kinds that yups buy to appear ruggid on weekends, but I had the distinct notion that his were not for show.
He returned and placed the soda before me.
"Tell me about yourself." He said.
"Not much to tell." I said, feeling awkward.
"Tell me." He said gently, yet authoritatively.
I told him about my job, about purchasing my home a few years ago as a single woman, about my vacation to the Bahamas last winter, about how I wanted to go to Alaska some day and walk on a glacier. He listened attentively to every word.
Finally, I said "I must be boring you to death."
"No. Not at all. Tell me why you came back to me."
I gulped. I didn't actually know why I did. I didn't know at all. So I told him that.
"I see. I understand. You felt drawn. That's fine. I can feel that you are. The way you change the subject when I ask something that makes you uncomfortable. I want you to do something for me. What you did right now was great... you told me the truth... that you didn't know why you came back to me... keep doing that."
"I feel stupid."
He smiled a tender smile. "You're not. You're being you. That's what I like about you."
A rosy flush spread over my face. I felt like I was in fifth grade and had just been told by my friend that the cutest boy in class liked me.
He continued, "Soon you will do it automatically for me. You will be completely open to me as we grow closer."
I shuffled in my seat. He kept making me feel uncomfortable.
"You're feeling uncomfortable again." He said, sipping upon his soda.
"Yes." I said.
"Is there something specific that I'm doing that's making you uncomfortable?" He asked, looking into my eyes concerned.
"I think... when you say that you know that something will happen... that we will grow closer. That's rather presumptuous."
He nodded. "You're right. I am presumptuous. That is my way. I'm a dominant person. I have a dominant personality. I know that it will happen because I want it to and when I see something I want, I go and get it." He paused. "If I'm making you uncomfortable, I'll understand if you'd rather not chat with me any longer."
My breath caught in my throat. The thought of walking away from the table, going with my instinct, seemed automatic. It seemed like the expected thing to do. But yet... deep inside.. he seemed right, seemed honest and open... seemed to fit a part of my psyche that I hadn't realized was longing.
"It's ok. I'm ok." I said in a small voice.
"Good." He smiled at me, his onyx eyes piercing into mine, making me feel open and exposed.
"So... you're a hunter. Tell me more about that."
He told me about being on major extended hunts in Canada, being airdropped into deep territory, left for two weeks with his hunting party. He talked about the game he had gone after, had bagged. When he was talking conversationally, he didn't seem as imposing or soul-reading. His eyes were normal, he gazed through the bar, watching the patrons, watching who came in the door, keeping eye contact with me in a casual way that was not intimidating.
"I guess I never could really see the whole point of hunting... going after something like that... not stopping until you get it. I'm a city girl... I kind of just wait for things to come to me, I guess." I said.
"Yes... there are a few different types of people... there are hunters... and then there are gatherers."
"I must be a gatherer." I said, following his analogy.
"No," He said. "Prey. You're prey." Again, he fixed me with his steely gaze.
A shiver went down my spine. My eyes dropped to the table.
I looked at my watch: 1:49 A.M. "It's late."
"Yes, it is. We should go now."
We? I wasn't about to go anywhere with him. He must have read the look on my face, because he continued.
"I'll walk you to your car." He got up, walked to my chair, took my hand. I stood up. He removed my coat and held it out for me. I slipped my arms into it and he brought it up to my shoulders, grazing the back of my neck briefly with his hand. He then took my cashmere scarf, put it around my neck, taking care to lift my hair so the scarf would keep my neck warm. He straightened it carefully, then appraised his work. I felt like a pampered little girl.
He then offered me his elbow. I paused for a moment then placed a gloved hand upon it. We walked out the door, him holding it open for me. As we traversed the icy parking lot, he moved his arm to the small of my back, steadying me. I felt as though he'd never let me fall.
We got to my car and I unlocked it with my remote. He opened the driver's door and I got in. I belted up and looked back at him, about to do my usual chatty "Good bye! Thank you for the lovely evening!" which would allow for an easy getaway, free of awkward moments.
"I'll be here tomorrow night... if you should decide to stop by." He said.
He looked down at me, then took his finger and pushed the hair that had fallen in front of my face back again, tucking it behind my ear.
"Such a pretty girl." He said, then closed my car door and strode purposefully across the parking lot, to his very large truck. My heart was racing and I could barely breathe. I started my car and sped out of the parking lot, completely unnerved by the encounter.
to be continued...
