continued from previous entry
I cupped the soda with both hands, sipping, then placing my hands, cold from the drink, against my cheeks again. I exhaled, almost a sigh. He watched every action.
�How did that make you feel?� He asked.
I looked at him for a brief moment and felt my cheeks grow hot again. �Um�. captured� somehow.� I said, dropping my eyes to the table.
He reached over the table, lifted my chin. �Remember� you are not to drop your head again. I do not like it. I like to see your face.�
I said nothing, just met his gaze.
He continued, �Are you afraid of me? Do I frighten you?�
The question hit me like a brick. He was unlike anyone I had ever met� his sense of self, his presence, emanated power with every breath. I felt powerless, like those women in silent movies who can only cower at the approaching monster before fainting. Yet at the same time, I remembered the safe feeling I had when he led me to the parking lot the night before, the feel of his hand on the small of my back, his other hand brushing against my elbow, not allowing me to fall.
�A little.� I managed to whisper.
He sighed. I rushed to qualify it �I mean� I just met you� and you say these things about me� talk about going out and taking things you want� you have to admit that can be a little frightening to a girl.�
�No� don�t make excuses. That is what you are feeling. You are being truthful� I can see that. But I can also see that you will trust me�that you will give yourself to me�. you will know that I could not hurt you� without your permission.�
An involuntary shiver passed up and down my back.
He watched me for what seemed like eternity, but was probably about two minutes. I had to will myself to not look down, not disobey him, not show weakness. After he was finished studying my face, his eyes dropped to my neck, then breasts. He made a noise, an almost imperceptible growl and then shifted in his seat, checking his watch.
�It�s late. You�ve had a long day. Would you like me to walk you to your car?�
I snapped out of my trance-like state. He wanted me to go? I looked at my watch and he was correct, it WAS late�. I hadn�t realized how quickly time had passed, and I immediately felt tired and drained.
�Yes, please.� I said, rising from the chair. He held out my coat, gently slipping it onto my shoulders. I wasn�t sure if it was my imagination, but it seemed as though his fingers paused against the nape of my neck, lighting there for a moment and then gone. He adjusted my scarf again, as he had the night before, then stopped and stared into my eyes again, this time only six inches from my face. I could smell his spicy woodsy scent, pine mixed with undertones of wood fire, leather and something else indescribable. His gaze was even more powerful close up, drawing me inside, making me feel dizzy.
�Come on.� He said, a barest whisper. He led me out the door, this time wrapping his arm across my back, nestling his hand on my hip. He walked immediately to my SUV, which I opened with the automatic remote lock.
I turned to thank him for�. I didn�t know what for, but it felt as though I should, perhaps a nagging voice from my grandmother or Miss Manners. I opened my lips to speak and paused for just a second. He lifted his hand to my face and brushed my cheek with the back of his hand. I said nothing, just felt weak and limp and every clich� from every grocery store romance novel.
He placed his hand flat on my cheek and traced my lips again with his thumb. I pouted just slightly and his thumb caught a bit on the wetness of my mouth. Without realizing how brazen it was, I pursed my lips and kissed the tip of his thumb. His breath caught for a second. He tightened his grip on my cheek and brought my head closer to him, to his mouth.
He kissed me gently, then more urgently. I felt his tongue taste my lips and I parted my lips for him. His tongue dipped into my mouth and I pressed my body up against him unconsciously, like a cat being petted. His other arm slipped behind my back, holding me tightly against him while the other hand still rested on my face, fingers entwined in my hair. I kissed him urgently, exhilarated in his touch, the feel of his hard and strong body against mine, unable to breath.
I pulled back from the kiss and inhaled, looking at him with big eyes. His fingers tightened in my hair, gripping roughly.
�Don�t you pull away from me.� He growled, pulling me toward him once again, holding my head by my hair. He kissed me again, roughly, almost bending me backward. When I moved my mouth with his, allowed his tongue once again to enter my mouth, his hand relaxed, releasing my hair, smoothing it, rubbing out the sting. His kiss turned gentler, until I was the aggressor, kissing him, moving my head toward his mouth.
When he felt my tongue touch his lips, he stopped, pulling away. He looked at me, my eyes half-lidded, my mouth hungry for more, and chuckled. �So anxious� this little girl can hardly wait.�
I looked up at him and blushed, embarrassed by my behavior. He reached around me and opened my car door.
�Go. It�s late. Time for you to go to bed.�
�But�� I said, confused.
�I said it�s late.�
�Do you want my phone number?� I asked, feeling rather desperate to see him again, not wanting to leave.
He pulled out his business card and placed it in my hand, closing my fingers around it.
�You must call me. I will not call you. You come to me.�
With that he guided me into my seat, buckled my seatbelt for me as though I were a child. I looked at him, astonished, my mouth open in shock.
�Drive safely, little one.� He said, gave my cheek a final caress, and then closed my car door. �Lock the door.� I heard him say, and I reached over and locked myself inside. �Good girl.� He said through the closed window, gave me another smile, and then walked over to his truck, which I noticed was already running, warming up for him, as though a faithful steed.
I started my car, allowing the motor to warm up and the windows to thaw. I watched as his truck drove away. Only then did I open my hand to read his crushed business card.
William Mason
Director of Environmental Management
Department of Natural Resources
And it listed his office and home phone numbers.
continued again... (of course)
