�You sound so certain.� I said, trying to appear cool and aloof. My instinct was to bristle at his dominance.

�You will find that once I make up my mind about something, it will happen.�

�Have you always been so aggressive?�

He chuckled and toyed with the edge of his napkin. �Aggressive� I try not to be aggressive. Have I been aggressive?�

I thought about that for a second. No. Actually, he hadn�t. Aside from his first comment to me at the bar, taking my soda from me and walking back to his table, I had approached him at every step. I had returned to the bar. I had called him. I had come to the restaurant. He was making sure that everything was of my own power, my own will.

�I suppose that you haven�t. Maybe I should have used the word dominant.�

He nodded. �I definitely would agree. I�ve always been dominant, in all of my relationships and friendships. It�s just always been that way.�

I could easily see that. Power exuded from his very essence.

He continued, looking at me directly, �Which is how it will be should you decide to continue my acquaintance. I want you to understand that from the start. I think the things you and I are searching for compliment each other.�

I tried to appear calm, but something about him, about his assured style, the way he seemed to read my mind, made it so very hard. �And just what is it that you think I want?�

He smiled warmly, the corners of his eyes turning up. �You, princess, you want someone to pamper you, to hold you, to let you sit on their laps while they adore you� and at the same time, you want to be naughty� more than that, you want to be a bad girl. You want someone to force you to do the naughty things you so want to do, because if they�re forcing you, you can still remain a good girl instead of the little slut you try to cover up.�

I had stopped breathing. I wanted to slap him for saying such things�. And yet, it rang very true deep inside. He seemed to know, to understand, things I never told anyone in my entire life.

He watched me closely for my reaction. I tried not to give him one, only meet his gaze coolly.

He then continued, �I require� demand�. Complete and utter loyalty. Obedience and trust are also required. I don�t expect it immediately, but I will expect it eventually. Of course, it will not be unearned.�

I could only listen wide-eyed.

�But I do require that you trust me just a little� in the beginning. You�ll need to go with your gut feeling here. I realize that I have not done anything to earn it and I would completely understand if you chose to not. But,� he added, with a glint in his eye that gave me a shiver. �you�ve trusted me this much already. And I promise to always keep you safe. You can believe me on this.�

With that, he reached down for my right hand, held it in his right hand, then traced my antique emerald ring. My stomach fluttered again and I felt short of breath. Just that moment, as if on cue, our salads arrived.

I started, took a sip of water, tried to cool my flushed cheeks. When I looked back at him, he was taking in my reaction carefully, studying me closely. I picked up my fork and began to toy with my endive, chasing a raspberry with the fork. He grinned and began to eat.

We ate in silence marked by my occasional daring glimpses when I would try to study him unwatched. He always caught me looking at him, I would blush and then resume eating the salad.

�I like a girl who finishes her food.� He said, finally.

I was a little surprised. I had been so unnerved by the entire earlier conversation that I had not even remembered my mother�s warning that �Nice girls don�t eat much� and to eat a sandwich before dates so �you won�t eat like a horse later�. Not that I ever really followed that advice, but I suddenly realized that I had been more or less eating constantly since food had been placed in front of me.

He read my awkwardness again. �I like it. It demonstrates a lust� a willingness to apply yourself to your senses.� He sipped his glass of soda again.

�May I ask a question?� I began.

�You may.� He answered, after weighing it for just a second. It unnerved me because I had not really meant it as a request for permission, more a segue, a conversation starter. He had obviously assumed otherwise.

�Um� no alcohol� why did you tell the waiter that we wouldn�t be having alcohol. I mean, I don�t mind, I�m just wondering.�

He nodded. �That�s a reasonable question. I didn�t want you to be impaired in any way. I wanted you to be able to think clearly.�

I considered that for a moment. What did he have in mind???


Dinner came and we managed to discuss other things, other than our very strange beginnings. For a moment, it almost seemed like a regular date or business dinner. He talked about his job, I talked about mine. He listened to my anecdotes of my last business conference, offered a suggestion I hadn�t considered for an account I was trying to land. He told me about flying to the Canadian bush, being airdropped for two weeks with three hunting partners, going after elk, bear, Doll sheep. He spoke with a passion, an intensity. He looked into my eyes earnestly during our conversations, and for a moment I felt his excitement at hunting, the exhilaration of being deep in the wilderness� even though I detested hunting and killing.

My scallops were exquisite. I complimented him on his recommendation and he nodded, pleased. He offered me a taste of his tenderloin, off his fork, my third grade mind thinking �Germs! Germs!�, which I ignored and daintily tasted.

When I offered him a scallop on my own fork in suit, he took it into his mouth, wrapping his lips around it. I got the feeling then that he watched me carefully after he did so, watching to see what I would do with the fork he had used. I speared another scallop, and put it in my mouth, allowing my lips to rest briefly upon the tines. He smiled and nodded, almost imperceptibly. I realized that I had just passed a subtle test.

2002-01-02 | 4:07 p.m.

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