For Zambrosia... what I've written so far...
I dialed Michael’s number with cold fingers, working up my breezy phone voice to mask my nervousness.
He answered on the first ring.
“Michael Collins”
He was always so proper, even at home on a Saturday morning. Already I could envision him pouring over legal briefs, billing clients for off hours.
“Hi Michael, it’s Lauren.” I said, automatically using the name that Daddy called me.
“Lauren….?”
I giggled at my gaffe. “Lola… sorry… Lola.”
His voice brightened. “Lola! Hey there! I was just thinking about you.”
“You were?” I said, immediately falling into our cat and mouse game that we had played when we were going out. We had swapped a few apologetic emails but this was actually the first time we’d spoken since the night before Michael graduated from college and headed off to law school. His voice was buttery and smooth and I felt very comfortable.
We chatted a bit, politely, always with a subtext of something more, the way such things happen when you talk with someone who was once intimate with you, had seen you naked.
“I broke up with Letitia.” He said remorsefully.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” I had heard already that he had a messy breakup with the woman our mutual friends termed “psycho bitch”.
He laughed. “Oh don’t be. I was being stupid and I finally figured that out. I was an idiot, Lola.” His voice changed and I immediately knew that he wasn’t referring to his relationship problems with Letitia.
“Everyone makes mistakes.”
“I know. I should have never let you go. I was stupid and I’m sorry.”
I didn’t know what to say. “We were very young.”
“Yes. And I was an idiot. I’m hoping to make things right. The worst feeling in the world is regret and if I didn’t make some attempt to fix that, I would regret it for the rest of my life.”
My stomach fluttered. He had obviously rehearsed this and it was extremely hard for him. While he had been described in the papers as “magic in the courtroom”, Michael often got tongue-tied whenever his personal feelings were involved.
“I hope that it doesn’t offend you that I’ve inquired Mark and Julie about you a few weeks ago. They said that you’re not seeing anyone. I have a season tickets to the symphony and I was hoping that you’d join me one of these nights… There’s a performance tonight but I’m certain that it’s far too short notice for you, but maybe the Verdi in three weeks?”
I bit my lip. I hadn’t been seeing anyone when he had asked our friends about me, but that had changed with my thing with Daddy… I didn’t even know what to call it… relationship? Agreement? Fling? None of those words seemed to fit.
“Well, I must be honest with you, Micheal. I’m not exactly NOT seeing someone…”
“Oh.” His voice dropped and it broke my heart.
“But I’ve only known him for a week and at the moment, I am able to…” My voice trailed off. It felt horribly wrong to be agreeing to this, even though I knew that Daddy had ordered it. “…I guess I’d love to go to the symphony with you tonight.”
He exhaled heavily into the phone and almost squeaked, “That’s great!” I giggled because I had forgotten the way he lost control of his voice when he got excited. But even my amusement was dampened by the fact that two weeks before, I would have been ecstatic to receive a call such as this from an old flame, while now I could only think of a rough man in a cabin deep in the woods.
“What do you think about dinner? Angline’s? Or maybe you’d like La Tredet better? Or whatever you’d like.” His words tumbled out over themselves.
“Whichever you’d like.” I answered automatically falling into the role Daddy had created for me.
“No, we’ll go wherever you like.”
“Um… La Tredet would be lovely.”
“Oh, and… would you like any wine or champagne or anything at the symphony? I have a box and I can order some to be put there ahead of time.” His voice held just a tint of boasting.
“I like Champagne.”
“Well, I think it’s just sparkling wine.”
“That’s good too.”
“Do you want to drive or should I pick you up in my car?”
“You can pick me up.”
Even as we finalized our plans, I could only think that Daddy would have had everything orchestrated for me.
